Archive | January, 2012

So this one time I got stuck.

22 Jan

Here’s me the summer when I was nine:

I was at an arts and crafts summer daycamp at the Naperville Riverwalk.

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So we made baskets and potholders and godseyes near the river.

But the REAL star of the show was friendship bracelets.

I was a pro at them. I even had a plastic box of embroidery floss. In my backpack. For bracelet-making on the go.

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All bracelet pros know the best way to make one is on your shoelaces.

I was pretty in demand since I had the best floss colors. Everyone wanted them.

 I was now popular.

And then…

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 One of the girls ran over and announced some boys caught a fish.

They were torturing it. Everyone ran down to the river.

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I ran as fast as my fat legs could carry me.

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Suddenly, the ground dropped out from under me…

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I fell into a gap between two parts of the dock.

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It was just wide enough for one of my legs to get stuck.

No one noticed me – they were crowded around the fishing kids at the other end of the dock.

I tried to pull my leg out. It didn’t work.

And then something really bad happened.

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My shoe fell off.

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Obviously, there were lots of awful things in the river, coming to eat my foot.

So.

I FLIPPED OUT.

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By now, a bunch of people were gathered around.

Two park workers told me to stand up on my other leg. They pulled me out by the armpits.

There wasn’t any blood. Everyone looked really disappointed.

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I thought I might die of shame.

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I didn’t.

BUT… The next time I tried to make a friendship bracelet…

 I forgot how.

My mom was pretty pissed I’d lost my shoe.

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